For the longest time, I hurried towards a destination, through a maze of hallways and doorways and stairwells, as if in a hospital complex too big for the land its on with additions, upon annexes, adjoined to a multi-level parking-garage that has no map.

"Remember your level, your row, your entrance elevator." I half-hoped my guesses on the way back were correct.

Many of my dreams were like that: always just about to get there; a few more wire mesh balconies to canter over; another escape hatch to bump down through, while whisking under others on the same ladder, on the same route. Sometimes finding a seat on a bus. Sometimes easing through hotel foyers.

For the longest time, that's been my dream-journey: night-mazes. Latching onto pathways whence I thought I should follow; choosing between various rooms of life along unmarked hallways, then just walking past them.

Honestly, I never felt lost. I scurried along but with stupid certainty of getting there. An end-stop once had me standing at a metal-barred gate through which I could see the remnants of an old construction site with rusting beams, lethargic cranes and a scraggly dog or two announcing my ghostly welcome.

You see, I may have been lost but too anxious looking for the exit to ever sense being lost.

The propensity of those dreams is over. Now, I am inside a new amazement park, yes, with just as many circular trails but no half-stairwells, no empty hallways.

More confident. Outside. Good weather. Cooler props.


6.11.26 9:50 AM