I was made to grow old, not get old. I am growing older each year, not getting older. 

I miss some parts of youth; but am happy to watch the youth of today and live vicariously. I used to wish I had the wisdom and composure of age, as a young man. But, that is not meant to be. Being young is for the young.

I used to NOT drink coffee when young. Today, I can't remember ever skipping a day. I do remember when I was young (in my twenties, after I started drinking coffee) that I would skip coffee random days, just to prove I wasn't locked into the habit. I haven't done that for a great while. I always said I could; if I wanted, I could skip coffee today. 

Since years ago, I just haven't wanted to.

An epiphany of sorts is coming to me, as I write this; I'm baring this part of my soul. Maybe I will skip java a random day or two, just to say I still have self control. That's why I did it back then: for dominion of self.

Skipping would be a good thing, because as I get older, I tend to deeply (overly deeply) appreciate my way of doing things, my favorite foods, my clothing style, my coffee in the morning. (Okay, when I'm not thinking about it, I'll skip coffee at random, when no one's looking.)

Who knows, maybe coffee doesn't exist in spiritual heaven. I need to retain flexibility.

Another thing about older age, I need assistants. I never had assistants when young. Always, I did everything myself:  sweeping floors, copying documents, running to the store, making the flyers, distributing the flyers, first getting them to the printer and building the distribution list; then, hosting the flyer's event, setting up the room, the chairs, the banner, the book-table, emceeing the event, delivering the keynote presentation, gathering the names of participants, thanking the sponsors, writing up the transcripts, publishing them, sending them out; making a report for headquarters... Oh! Did I take photos? Some poor ones. I would drive myself home. My wife would cook dinner for me.

As an elderly activist today, I just want to be the speaker. The speaker. With a team to get all the rest done. I say, it's because I don't have the same youthful-ness craze to do it all, as I did back then. Why not? Has my elderly-ness gotten in the way? No, I dispense: "I have no time."

I really think it's, "No 25-hour-battery, youthful-fun, go-get-em-endless energy!" Though, still in me -- the energy, I could use some assistants in my older age.


August 4, 2026 Tuesday 9:58 AM